Meeting Your online love for the first time.

  Sooner or later the question of actually meeting in person will come up and whilst many people would say it’s better to take your time and let the online relationship develop, I strongly believe that the sooner you do it, the better. If you leave it too long, then the impression you have built up of this person will be so deep rooted that your expectations will be far too high and you will be set for disappointment. The other point is if you have been a lot more confident chatting than you would be in real life, how are you going to be able to keep up that persona? You may end up competing with yourself. So assuming that you are both happy with the length of time the romance has been going on for and you decide to meet, what will it be like? It will be quite strange to begin with. You may find that although you have been up most nights until 5 in the morning chatting, you find it hard to talk about things in the flesh. This is perfectly natural as the two of you are having to almost re-learn the parameters of the relationship and digest the visual cues that our mannerisms and facial expressions provide. It will be a nerve racking time as we have to decide there and then if these mannerisms and even physical odours are compatible with us. If you can pass that first test, then things get a lot easier. Do however be very careful if you are traveling abroad to meet someone because if things fail at this first hurdle, then you are totally stuck on your own in a foreign country.

Passed first base, what next?

  Having gone through this initial nerve racking first meeting, there is often a huge temptation to revert back to an ‘online relationship’ as it feels so much more comfortable, but I cannot stress enough to resist that temptation. Slip back into the old online chatting routine and the online persona won’t die. The transition from online to offline relationship can be extremely difficult but at all costs, you must get to know the real person from a new offline perspective and kill off any false impressions you may have had about them online. Going back to the online chatting routine may make you feel all warm and fuzzy again, but it can be an unrealistic perception of who the person really is.

In Summary.

  This all may seem a little negative and in some cases may not even apply, but overall, forewarned is forearmed. There are of course many people who have made a success of their relationship by online dating and some are even married now, but it really pays to be aware of how feelings can be distorted by the shield of an anonymous nickname and a computer monitor. Positives are that you really can find your other half and this is more easier to be made in online dating site than in real life. Behind the monitor you can be what you really want and your never will be shy again, it is easier to say this what you think. You can try for yourself, but always love with your heart and think with your mind! You have to prefer dating sites prior Instant Messengers, they are more secure, especially this one with membership to pay for and profiles approved from site administrator.

Some people don’t believe me when I tell them that most problems with not enough Responses to your Ad can be fixed just by writing a better Ad. And then I often take them, real-time, to an Online Dating Site. I randomly start reading out profiles, and they cannot believe that so many people write such terrible ads! Maybe it is this overvalued notion of spontaneity, of writing whatever comes to your mind, letting it flow, being you – which leads you to write gibberish in your ads. Say goodbye to any success in Online Dating with that. Think what would happen if NASA Engineers became spontaneous.

So stop your Dating shuttle from crashing and read these examples of common Mistakes in Dating Profiles. Have a laugh, but be careful, your own profile may have bugs too! (All examples are real)

..”I am a funny, witty person….”

Funny and witty people never write that directly. Instead of saying this, add a touch of humor to your profile.

..”I was just bored, so wrote my profile here…”

A negative attitude. Instead, say, “I am new to this…”

…”I am an Honest, Spontaneous, Creative, Intelligent (..other personal adjectives) …person.”

Very few people think they are not, so this is very subjective (same as the fact that 80% people believe that they have an IQ above average!). Even if true, it is redundant information at best. Avoid using personal adjectives in your Ad or Profile.

Define yourself concretely-better to say I am a Guitar player in a Band or I write Novels or I am a practising Doctor than I am Creative or Intelligent.

…”I want a guy who can make me laugh…”

Comes across as negative-you sound slightly depressed if you need someone just to make you laugh. Theres plenty of stuff on the TV to make you laugh, and you are not looking for a joker, you are looking for a boyfriend, a mate…remember?

…”I like dark haired men, but if you are blond and good-looking, write me anyway, maybe you can change my mind….”

Turn-off to blond men. Make up your mind, if you are looking for only dark haired men, just say that. Dont play both sides of the coin, generally backfires. Better not to say anything if you are not sure.

…”I like taking walks by the ocean, or watching TV, or going camping with my friends…”

Unimportant details. Most people like these things, and these are hardly important details in finding a partner (it is unlikely you wont like going out with someone just because they dont like walking the beach or watching TV with you) . Your hobbies is where you put these things, and more specifically-e.g. Camping, or Watching Basketball.

…”I am sexy, flirtatious,… I like kisses on my back, full body massages from my boyfriend/girlfriend…”

Generally speaking, keep the sexual innuendos out. You will have plenty of time to exchange many raunchy emails if you are addicted to writing sexual stuff… but in the first impression, keep it out. Think about it this way-would you say this to a guy or a girl in a bar who you meet for the first time? If not, then dont say it in your Ad either.

…”I am looking for a REAL man/woman, with all the letters of REAL…”

Everyone is real. Basically, dont worry, sounds like you have had some bad experiences in relationships, but thats over now. Come with a positive attitude to Online Dating, and just meet the people. Then when you email them and meet them in person, you can decide if they are real or not.

…”I am not interested in guys who are bitter and boring…”

No one is. Use the Ad mostly to tell what you like, not what you dont like. Agreeability is a must have in first introductions.”

This is it, you are now ready to dive deep in the virtual dating world and find some new friends, love or both of them.